I'd find a feeling of confidence about my writing. If I ever
got a story accepted. If I ever got more accepted, or
"enough" accepted. Then, if I ever got a longer story
After each stage, it's never worked. Writing doesn't
bring me the feeling of acceptance or being worthy or
valuable that I want.
But, I still love it. I still write 'for me.' I write because
I can't not write. I write because it helps me stay sane.
I write because I'm a writer.
But, when I look for that feeling, of finally being
"worthy" in my writing--I'm disappointed.